the roller coaster

The Rollercoaster

By Cara Raley

Many people who have a special needs child know that it’s challenging, time consuming, heart breaking fearful, and a rollercoaster. I have had to learn this myself. Parenthood isn’t a walk in the park or a piece of cake like I thought it was going to be. We’ve gone through changes, heart breaking moments, and pure fear. How long is this going to last? What does it mean? Will this change his whole life?

The emotional aspect is the hardest part to overcome. The shock comes fast once you realize your child is special needs. This is normally followed by disbelief. This has to be wrong! How could it happen to my baby? Sadness normally fallows shortly after. The tears will fall and you might even start to grieve. What would you grieve for? Maybe the loss of what you thought was “normal”. After these moments of sadness you will start to grow. Your broken heart starts to mend. You now start to be okay with it. This is accepting it. After you can accept everything that has been handed to you, you start to live for it. Yes some might think it has overcome you and you are just too into it. At this point you are now your child’s advocate! From here it doesn’t get easier, but it’s well worth it!

Helping your child is another rollercoaster. The things you go through to help your child. The therapy can be hard and at times you might not understand why you are doing this to your child. Never give up on your child. They need you to be strong. Try finding something that helps them. Understand that some things they can’t help but doing. Remember that if you aren’t feeling good about the help they are providing, to voice it. They can’t tell you if something is helping or not.

As a mother of a special needs child I’ve gone through all this, and have learned each day is going to be different. Each day can be harder than the last. The love for my child has changed me and built me into a stronger woman. I’m still learning each day. I’m still learning how to deal with the rollercoaster of life with a special needs child.

I have no family support with what is going on with my son. I do this alone with help from his father but no support outside of the home. I have struggled and faught to find a way to make people understand and support our little guy. This has not worked. I suggest if you have a family or friend like this to sadly not bring them into this aspect of your child’s life. That is now where I am. I do not express the progress with these people anymore.